was at home the whole day... Supposed to go to Music Essentials to get my Brahm's sonata scores... but guess i can leave that to monday or some other day la.

was practising today at home... think my tone has changed... not sure for the better or not.... but i'm sure my tonguing has improved today... tone .... shit la.... i'm worried now.... coz i get different comments from people.... some say its sweet.... some say its weak.... some say it needs more body.... some say its nice.... blah.... I'm confused... I already am ConFu$ed long ago.... and now i have to find out my ideal tone for Jean... damn....

Theres Chamber thingy tmr .... not sure if it'll be successful la... so many things coming up... then we're gonna try to put up a chamber performance somemore... hope the more the merrier ... as in the pple... i don't want just a trio or quintet la.... but guess weiling said theres an octet or sextet... depends on the players la.... if all enthu... maybe we can even play those large chamber works... haha... thinking too much...

now its time for me to let out my feelings... for those reading... i dun really talk about this often... But i guess... I'm starting to feel lonely now... no one to confide in... haha.... not sure why i suddenly felt this... had been alone almost my whole life... and didnt really feel lonely... always thought it was better alone la... more freedom and stuff.... but hmm.... guess its just part and parcel of life.... love... hmm... think i need to get someone... be it guy or girl la... open minded society now... and i'm not homo-phobic... haha... laughs out damn freaking loud... haha... but i'm not sure if i can handle so much stuff on my hands.... haiz... will try la... anyone to take me? haha... MUAHhahaa.... hahahaha.... haha... my kind of character... haiz... sianz.... nothing to say.... many would agree right? right Ben? those who read my blog... right? MUAHHAHAHAAaaa......

choral or band music? seems like i have more passion to try to learn choral... but band music's much easier to bring out.... coz band's quite technical... the voice... difficult to teach .... conducting also not say very easy.... haha.... haiz...

clarinet playing... dun think i can really make it also.... have my limitations... think i should have went into poly la... at least... hmm... i dunno ... maybe it will be worse... haha... at least its something that i like to do now.... but i dun really like the school system and some pple.... not saying that they like me as well... but yea... haha....

hmm.... guess its time to think of where i'll be heading next time... to further my studies... maybe Japan? coz I love the culture there... love their clairnet sound as well... very sweet sound.... pple might say its small sounding... but i dun think so... its quite warm and big sounding.... well... american sound.... which is Jean's sound... is nice as well... but think i wont enjoy studying in an American based system... haha.. Britian....No WAY.... coz of the head of department in nafa... makes me think twice abt tt place... the way things are taught... cannot accept the pace la... Russia... language problem... and the teachers are deemed 'violent'... haha... coz they're damn direct... Germany.... hmm.... free music education... but language is another problem again... and german sounds damn vulgar to begin with... might not like it there... MUHAhaha... so mah fan... but well... have to plan right? Japan...? Europe? where?... not sure...

but i want to do composition.... should get my grade 8s first.... for theory and practical.. but i want to get a DipAbrsm for theory... think i like theory quite alot... haha... practical... hmm... need some work though ... on the stupid scales and arpeggios... which i hate the most... major scales can la... but not minor scales...

haiz... lonely... sianz... rotting... slacking.... stupid.... crazy.... whatever.... haiz.... cheers....