Saturday, May 08, 2004 »
saturday... woke up early today.... coz had excruciating pain in my stomach.... then cancelled clairnet lesson with Jean...actually i think she forgot about lesson today.... and she never reply my msg!!! ARghhh... haha.... well.... I'm so nervous.... I'm definitely going to squeak no matter what happens on stage .... variations on a korean folksong.... sleep..... festive overture.... so worried.... ARGH !!!! oh well.... hope the pack of new reeds will do some good.... think there isn't enough of the reed heart to support the high notes therefore.... my squeaks come out.... hmm.... think i made another discovery about bass clarinet reeds.... haha......
........ as quoted...." you learn something new everyday " .... so true.... no matter what.... doing something.... someone.... you'll definitely learn something new every single day.... learning something new doesn't mean its all good...... it can be bad as well..... you learn new about yourself from others... just accept it.... and change for the better..... if you can't take " constuctive-criticism " ( CC ) just don't listen ok? Just heck care.... if not you'll just blow-up.... typical example in Nafa for a person who can't take CC is DARIUS LIM ...... he's such a pain in the neck...... ahhhhhhhhhh..... forget him.... no point wasting my blog space.... though its unlimited... haha.......
........ rehearsal at 3pm.... I'm so worried..... gonna screw up somehow..... this feeling takes over everytime i have an exposed part.... damn..... 76 trombones.... oh my god.... better play that part well.... damn........ so worried.... maybe the pain in my stomach is due to the anxiety and nervousness.... oh man............
Exam week next week.... never touched a single book at all..... 2 portfolios to do.... Damn..... i'm so lagging..... why????? why???? why????....... simple.... I'm just lazy thats all.... oh well.... i always have some ways of finishing la.... hope this time i will not fail doing it...... hahah... sounds weird.....
..... Yin sher..... take lots of care manz...... sinus so bad.... must go back malaysia and rest.... hahaha... anyway you alone in singapore.... also tough la.... no one to take care of you.... better to go back and be taken care of .....
............. arghhhh..... performance anxiety is filling me up.... damn..... shucks..... damn.... hall so big.... my sound seems weak.... i can do it.... i killed all 5 reeds yesterday during the long rehearsals.... haha....
Arghh..... i've got to relax man......... everything's gonna be alright.... but our.... my reputation is at stake.... if i squeak too much.... i might never be called for guest-performances.... haha... I'm not thinking too much.... during the college years.... its best to build a reputation before going out to the world.... I'm thinking too much..... yes i am.... haha........
............ enjoy the concert tonight.... it will be a great show..... i hope.... enjoy the sound ........
..............Keep music alive..... its only right for the audience to get their money's worth.............
5/08/2004 11:35:00 AM